The
Daily Slog

Late Night Humor

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

It’s reported that
Barack Obama’s new attorney general is going to be Eric Holder.
Here is what we know about him: His name is Eric Holder.

It’s being reported
that Hillary Clinton will accept the position of secretary of
state. Actually this works out great for the Clintons. While
Hillary is concentrating on foreign affairs, Bill can get back
to concentrating on domestic affairs.

Barack Obama says one
of his top priorities once he becomes president is closing down
Guantanamo Bay. And to make sure it closes, he’s going to turn
it into a bank.

According to the New
York Post, Sarah Palin may appear on the season finale of
“Desperate Housewives.” In a related story, John McCain just got
a big Flomax commercial.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Things Overheard During Obama’a Meeting With McCain

10. “Oh, just
preparing to be president. What have you been up to?”
9. “I know a guy who would be a perfect secretary of plumbing”
8. “What is the deal with that Alaskan babe?”
7. “Let’s wrap this up; Wheel of Fortune’s on”
6. “Seriously, what was the deal with that Alaskan babe?”
5. “Actually, it’s now the ‘Straight Talk Express and Girls Gone
Wild’ bus”
4. “Uh John, this isn’t another debate”
3. “Where’s the soup? Someone said there’d be soup!”
2. “I know I’m trailing by 192 electoral votes two weeks after
the election, but I’ve got you right where I want you!”
1. “Maybe you’d be president-elect if you hadn’t crossed
Letterman”

Late Show with David Letterman

Cold in New York City.
So cold, today Sarah Palin spent $150,000 on mittens.

Sarah Palin has landed
a $7 million book deal. She got it through a guy named Joe the
publisher.

When she was asked
about writing a book, she said, “You bethcha! As long as I don’t
have to read it.”

Wow — $7 million.
Maybe now she can buy her own clothing.

Late Night with Conan O’Brien

Yesterday in Chicago,
President-elect Obama met with former political rival John
McCain. Both men said it was a relief to put their differences
aside, sit down, and really
make fun of Sarah Palin.

Yesterday, President
Bush awarded a National Medal of the Arts to Stan Lee, the comic
book artist who created “Spider-Man.” Afterwards, Bush said it
was the first thing he’s done as president that “felt right.”

Political experts say
Hillary Clinton may not be given the position secretary of state
because of Bill Clinton’s activities. When he heard this, Bill
said, “It’s only fair — she denies me positions all the time.”

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Happy birthday to the
Alaska senator, and convicted felon, Ted Stevens. Today he turns
85 to life.

Michael Jackson is in
trouble again. He is supposed to testify in a lawsuit, but his
lawyer says he’s too sick to travel. He can only travel in an
emergency — like a Jonas Brothers concert.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Raging fires in
California. So far, 32,000 acres have burned. It seems ironic
that the flamingest state in the Union voted against gay
marriage.

It looks like Hillary
Clinton might be Barack Obama’s secretary of state. She went
from almost being president to a secretary.

Sounds like somebody
needs to watch “Working Girl” — that’s not how it’s supposed to
work.

Lost and Found

• ”Clash Over $700bn Bank Bail-Out’–headline,

BBC Web site, Nov. 18
 
• ”Opec ‘Lost $700bn on Cheaper Oil”–headline,

BBC Web site, Nov. 19
 

‘This Is Now Bone of My Bones and Flesh of My Flesh’
“First Person in World Gets Organ Entirely Made in
Lab”–headline, KARE-TV Web site (Minneapolis), Nov. 19

And You Thought They Were Just Happy to See You
“Scientists Rediscover Pocket-Sized Primate”–headline, Globe
and Mail (Toronto), Nov. 19

Today’s Papers

They Like Nothing Better, Except Messing Up Messerschmidts
“Gremlins Still Jinx LAUSD Payroll”–headline, Daily Breeze
(Torrance, Calif.), Nov. 18

But Poor Old Goebbels . . .

“German Medic’s Account Confirms Hitler Had Only One
Testicle”–headline, FoxNews.com, Nov. 19

‘Why Are Those FA Bans Driving on the Left?’
“Drogba and Ferguson Hit by English FA Bans”–headline, CNN.com,
Nov. 19

But We’ve Been Taking It, and We’re Not . . . What Were You
Saying Again?

“Gingko Biloba Doesn’t Prevent Dementia, Study Finds”–headline,
Los Angeles Times, Nov. 19

‘Come to Think of It, 900,000 Pounds Was Pretty Heavy’
“Nestle Recalls 900,000 Pounds of Lean Cuisine”–headline,
ABCNews.com, Nov. 18

Isn’t There
Any Mandatory
Retirement Age?

• ”Fired 44-Year-Old Stripper Sues Club for
Age Discrimination”–headline,

FoxNews.com, Nov. 18
 
• ”70+ Strippers Sue Club”–headline,

Clear Channel, Nov. 18
 

News of the Tautological

“Dead Body Found in Cemetery”–headline, News Virginian
(Waynesboro, Va.), Nov. 14

News of the Oxymoronic

“Scientists Find New Penguin, Extinct for 500 Years”–headline,
Associated Press, Nov. 19

News You Can Use

• ”Getting a Job With Obama Easier Than You
Think”–headline,

Fort Worth (Texas) Star-Telegram, Nov. 16
 
• ”Brothel Offers Free Entry to Men Who Have Its Name Tattooed
on Their Arm”–headline,

Daily Telegraph (London), Nov. 18
 
• ”Facial Scars Can Help Win a Woman’s Heart”–headline,

Daily Telegraph (London), Nov. 17
 

Bottom Stories of the Day

Today’s Business Press :

Deflation Fears Suck Air out of Markets

Sound the alarms! Consumer prices are in a
freefall, stoking fears the economy is on the precipice of
deflation. The Labor Department on Wednesday reported the

prices of consumer goods fell by 1 percent in October, the
biggest one-month drop in 61 years. As the
New York Times points out, no, falling prices are not
a good thing for an already shrinking global economy. “While
most consumers might welcome the idea that things are getting
cheaper,

deflation is an economists’ nightmare,” the
NYT writes. For
starters, declining prices would greatly minimize the impact of
the Federal Reserve’s previous rate cuts. Unresponsive monetary
policy is what sunk Japan in the 1990s, the so-called “lost
decade,” pundits are quick to point out. 

What is the Fed to do? Cut again. According to the
Financial Times, “the US central bank may cut
interest rates again by as much as 50 basis points from the
­current level of 1 percent in December.” Analysts at

JPMorganChase predict

the Fed will go even lower—down to zero by early next year.
It’s not just the United States that is seeing a rapid decline
in prices. Prices are also falling across Europe and in Japan,
the NYT reports.

Deflation fears sank U.S. markets on Wednesday
to their lowest levels since the current financial crisis began.
According to the Wall Street
Journal, investors ditched equities and bonds. “The

stock market’s fall to a 5½-year low was led by the credit
markets, where prices of corporate and real-estate bonds
fell to their lowest levels in more than 20 years,” the
newspaper writes.

Things look equally bleak overseas this
morning.

Asian stock markets fell on average by 6 percent Thursday to
plumb five-year lows, Reuters reports, adding that oil fell
below $53 a barrel.

European markets opened down as well on Thursday, the BBC
reports.  Part of the fears in Asia came from a surprise report
out of Tokyo this morning. “Japan
unexpectedly posted a 63.9 billion yen [$671 million] trade
deficit in October, reinforcing concerns that falling
exports will push the country deeper into recession,” the
FT writes. Economists
had been banking on a trade surplus. The outlook is looking only
marginally better for struggling Iceland. Overnight it announced
its Nordic neighbors

Finland, Sweden, Denmark, and Norway will pitch in and lend
Iceland $2.5 billion.

Viewing the struggles of the world’s largest
economies, a new theory is emerging from global business
leaders: It will be

the emerging economies that get us out of this mess. These
emergent powers, including China, India, and Brazil, make up 30
percent of the world’s GDP. Josep Piqué, chairman of European
airline Vueling, told the NYT
that “the emerging countries are the solution to the overall
global slump.”

“Like seeing a guy show up at the soup kitchen
in high-hat and tuxedo.” That’s how one lawmaker described the
chief executives of the Big Three automakers’ “tone deaf”

decision to fly by corporate jets to D.C. in search of a
bailout, the Washington Post
writes. By the time a deeply skeptical

House financial services committee had finished grilling

GM‘s Richard Wagoner,

Ford‘s Alan Mulally, and Chrysler’s Robert Nardelli, it was
clear the Big Three could go home empty-handed, writes the
Los Angeles Times.
Coupled with the Senate’s decision to cancel a vote on providing
auto loans, it is clear that “[m]any members of Congress worry
that Detroit has not changed its big-spending, gas-guzzling
habits, and that company executives will be back in a few months
asking for billions of dollars more to stay afloat,” writes the
LAT. If

Detroit falls, the South could rise writes the
WSJ, noting, “Foreign
makers have been lured to South Carolina, Alabama and other
Southern states over the past decade by generous tax benefits
and laws that make it easier to build a largely nonunion work
force.” That labor “flexibility” has allowed the likes of BMW
and Toyota to quickly downsize when necessary in a way the Big
Three could only dream of doing.

While retailers on both sides of the Atlantic
grapple with the

prospect of dire Christmas sales (even the

vaunted online retail sector is cut-throat this year), at
least one set of consumer companies already is looking to the
New Year. The Seattle
Post-Intelligencer reports that a “group
of companies including

Starbucks,

Nike and

Sun Microsystems has banded together to urge Congress to
regulate greenhouse gas emissions and promote investment in
renewable energy.” The coalition,

Business for Innovative Climate and Energy Policy, advocates
“stimulating renewable energy, promoting energy efficiency and
green jobs, requiring 100 percent auction of carbon allowances,
and limiting new coal-fired power plants to those that capture
and store carbon emissions,” MarketWatch reports.

And
finally, rewind to a previous financial crisis: the technology
and dot-com collapse of 2000. That’s when fund manager

Alberto W. Vilar allegedly starting swindling a total of $20
million from his clients—including $5 million from Lily
Cates, the mother of actress Phoebe Cates—to keep his operation
at Amerindo Investment Advisors afloat. Vilar and his partner
Gary A. Tanaka were convicted on a series of fraud charges
yesterday in federal court in Manhattan, the
NYT writes. For
Vilar, the verdict marks a staggering fall. “The investor and
music lover accustomed to opulent living, front-row opera seats
and the gratitude of arts impresarios, now faces a more humble
prospect: prison,” the newspaper writes.

Say No to the Gas Companies

By

RANDY COHEN

Natural-gas companies in our area can drill in one spot and
extract gas more than a mile away by using “horizontal”
drilling. These companies offered to lease homeowners’ mineral
rights — about $4,000 for my partner and me. For environmental
reasons, we strongly oppose this drilling, but most of our
neighbors are enthusiastic about the profits, so drilling will
likely be done under our house whether or not we agree to the
lease. What should we do? JESSICA MAY, FORT WORTH

It
is understandable that you feel powerless in the face of
community-wide sentiment — gold rush! — but you should not sign
the lease. To fail to resist what you see as injustice simply
because you fear that you cannot win the fight assures the very
defeat you dread. If nothing else, this is a short-term view.
Political struggle is long. Even if you lose the first battle,
you fight on, and by resisting from the outset, you shape the
conditions of that struggle.

I
reject your premise that drilling is inevitable no matter what
you — and by extension, your neighbors — do. (Local
environmental groups might suggest effective actions that you
have not considered.) If the gas companies believed that, they
wouldn’t continue to offer the money to all and sundry. What’s
more, the example of local resistance to such schemes can affect
the actions of gas companies in their future dealings in other
neighborhoods.

But
the most potent argument for your declining to sign what you
regard as a devil’s bargain is this: It violates your own
principles. Even if all your neighbors are doing it. (Shooting a
guy in an orgy of rioting — same deal. You shouldn’t play along
even if everyone else in the roiling mob is firing furiously.)
In what sense do you oppose drilling if you sell your mineral
rights to the first person who puts cash on the table? Ethics
concern our actions, not just our arguments.

A dear friend was facing some difficult times, including an
increasingly strained marriage. I went to visit him for a few
days to provide some support. One evening, while he was away,
his wife seemed to make sexual advances to me: nothing explicit,
but I felt uneasy. In my opinion they are a bad match, but I
keep that to myself. Do I alert him to her inappropriate
advances or silently file it with my opinion? NAME WITHHELD, NEW
JERSEY

Keep
it to yourself. The wife’s actions are too ambiguous, too
anomalous and too easily denied by her for you to provoke a
confrontation in an already shaky marriage. Furthermore, if you
had responded to her putative pass, who knows whether she would
have followed through or backed off? Even if she explicitly
propositioned you on that one occasion, that, too, would belong
in your file of silence. Everyone does foolish things from time
to time, particularly when under stress. Such things are often
best overlooked. (There’s a phrase for it in German: einmal ist
keinmal. Loosely: once does not count.) If everyone were called
to account for each utterly atypical marital gaffe made when the
moon was full and the wine was flowing, civilization would
collapse into a heap of rubble.

I
would not offer this get-out-of-jail-free card for more serious
offenses; I am not proposing a kill-one-guy rule or even a
one-affair exemption. I am suggesting that there are times when
a friend’s happiness is best served by a tactful silence.

Who Says Conservatism Is Dead?

“Woolly Mammoth Genome Sequence May Bring Beast
Alive”–headline, Bloomberg, Nov. 19

Don’t Know? Vote O.
A new poll from Zogby International shows Obama voters to be
shockingly ignorant of political trivia involving their own
candidate:

83%
failed to correctly answer that Obama had won his first election
by getting all of his opponents removed from the ballot, and 88%
did not correctly associate Obama with his statement that his
energy policies would likely bankrupt the coal industry. Most
(56%) were also not able to correctly answer that Obama started
his political career at the home of two former members of the
Weather Underground.

Nearly three quarters (72%) of Obama voters did not correctly
identify Biden as the candidate who had to quit a previous
campaign for President because he was found to have plagiarized
a speech, and nearly half (47%) did not know that Biden was the
one who predicted Obama would be tested by a generated
international crisis during his first six months as
President. . . .

57%
of Obama voters were unable to correctly answer that Democrats
controlled both the House and the Senate.

Wait, it gets worse. The test was multiple
choice!

Most Obama voters did recognize John McCain
and Sarah Palin, respectively, as the guy who didn’t know how
many houses he owned and the lady with the pricey clothes.

And it’s not as if these questions were really
hard, like asking Obama’s middle name. Even we don’t know the
answer to that one.

Who Says Conservatism Is Dead?

“Woolly Mammoth Genome Sequence May Bring Beast
Alive”–headline, Bloomberg, Nov. 19

We Thought He Was the Smooth One

“Bill Clinton in Talks to Smooth Wife’s Path to
Cabinet”–headline, The Wall Street Journal, Nov. 19

The
Daily Slog

Late Night Humor

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

The latest rumor is
that Barack Obama has offered the job of secretary of state to
Hillary Clinton. That’s kind of sad considering how close
Hillary came to being the first female president. Imagine after
that . . . her next job offer? Secretary.

Hillary Clinton might
make a very good secretary of state — she can cackle in seven
different languages.

Today in Chicago, for
the first time since the election, John McCain sat down with
President-elect Barack Obama. Obama agreed to sit down and talk
to McCain without any preconditions.

Barack Obama’s
mother-in-law might be moving into the White House with them.
Joe Biden was right — hostile forces will test Obama in the
first few months.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Good Things About Being Named James Bond

10. “I’ve made a
fortune selling autographed crap on eBay”
9. “I have amazing gadgets, like a clock that’s also a radio”
8. “Lots of admiring looks when they call my table at T.G.I.
Friday’s”
7. “At the movie theater, I get a free squirt of chemical
butter”
6. “Once, I received a $5,000 residual check that should have
gone to Pierce Brosnan”
5. “Calling my boss ‘M’ instead of Mr. Glickstein”
4. “When my brother says, ‘Bond, Fred Bond,’ he just looks like
a jerk”
3. “Always gets a laugh when I order my Jamba Juice ‘shaken, not
stirred’”
2. “Halle Berry once accidentally slept with me”
1. “President Bush keeps calling me about capturing bin Laden”

Late Show with David Letterman

They’re saying Hillary
Clinton may be secretary of state. If she takes that job, it
means she’ll be spending a lot of time away from home. Today,
she took out her pantsuit with the travel stickers.

Then she bought an
electronic ankle bracelet for Bill.

Sen. McCain and
President-elect Barack Obama got together for a visit. Obama
thanked McCain for choosing that nutty Alaskan chick.

Then Obama said to
McCain, “Hey I’m catching up to you — I just got a second home.”

Late Night with Conan O’Brien

Last night on “60
Minutes,” Barack Obama said that since he won the election he
has slept in his own bed every night. After hearing this, Bill
Clinton said, “Man, this guy has a lot to learn.”

Earlier today in
Chicago, Barack Obama tried to smooth things over by meeting
with his former opponent John McCain. Obama congratulated McCain
on running a good campaign, and McCain congratulated Obama on
being “a stupid jerkface.”

Henry Kissinger says
if Barack Obama picks Hillary Clinton to be his secretary of
state, it will be a sign of “great courage” on his part. Then
Kissinger said, “Seriously Barack, protect your nuts.”

Obama says that he’s
taking his time picking out a dog for his daughters because he’s
looking for a pet that won’t shed its hair. Which is the exact
same reason he picked Joe Biden.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

According to literary
agents in New York, Sarah Palin is about to sign a $7 million
book deal. They didn’t say she was going to write one or read
one, but she’s going to sign it.

She’s not ruling out
running for the Senate in 2010. She’s already formed an
exploratory committee to explain to her what the Senate is.

The fire in California
has threatened Oprah’s house. Don’t worry — she turned on her
force field and the fire went away, ashamed of itself.

Today’s Papers

By Daniel Politi
Posted Wednesday,
Nov. 19, 2008, at 6:51 AM ET

The


Los Angeles Times and


Washington Post lead with the chief
executives of Detroit’s Big Three begging lawmakers for
taxpayer-funded aid to

prevent a possible collapse. But senators were less than
receptive to their plight and it looks increasingly unlikely
that the automakers will get a bailout from Washington

anytime soon. Even senators who are generally supportive of
the industry weren’t shy about criticizing the companies. “Their
discomfort in coming to the Congress with hat in hand is only
exceeded by the fact that they are seeking treatment for wounds
that are to a large extent self-inflicted,” Sen. Christoper Dodd
said. “No one can say they didn’t see this coming.”

The


New York Times leads with news that Alaska
Sen. Ted Stevens

lost his re-election bid to Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich. It
was certainly close, but Begich leads with more than 3,700 votes
with approximately 2,500 still outstanding, which is beyond the
margin of victory that would allow Stevens to call for a
state-funded recount. The victory gives Democrats 58 seats in
the Senate, with two races still undecided. The
Wall Street Journal
leads with the lashing that Treasury Secretary Henry
Paulson, and, to a lesser extent Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke,
received at a hearing

before the House Financial Services Committee. Paulson said
he wants to keep the rest of the bailout money for emergencies
and allow the Obama administration to decide how best to use the
funds. But lawmakers criticized Paulson for his unwillingness to
devote some of the bailout money to aid homeowners at risk of
foreclosure.

USA Todayy leads with AAA’s annual

Thanksgiving survey that found that while many Americans are
changing their holiday travel plans, they’re still, for the most
part, making the trips. The total number of people who plan to
travel for Thanksgiving is a bit less than last year’s record,
which marks the first drop since 2002.

The leaders of General Motors,
Ford, and Chrysler blamed the current downturn in the global
economy for much of their woes and warned lawmakers that if one
of the companies were to collapse it would have

catastrophic consequences for the country. The leaders of GM
and Chrysler both said that they’re at risk of running out of
money soon without more federal assistance. While senators, for
the most part, said they recognize the industry’s importance
they also were quick to emphasize they’re not convinced giving
the companies another $25 billion would be enough to keep the
companies out of trouble for very long. When the executives were
asked whether they’d be willing to cut their own salaries to $1
a year, they all said yes. Still, that was hardly enough to
satisfy skeptical lawmakers who heaped criticism on the Big
Three.

In the
WP‘s op-ed page,

George WillNYT
notes in its business pages,

bankruptcy protection isn’t what it used to be. Whereas
bankruptcy protection “always offered a glimmer of hope” that a
company could reorganize and continue operating, that is
increasingly unrealistic in the current climate. Companies are
now avoiding bankruptcy protection like the plague because they
know that bankruptcy equals liquidation if they can’t get
credit, and, needless to say, loans are pretty hard to come by
these days. One possible compromise would be for the government
to offer loans to a bankrupt company, which would benefit
taxpayers since they would be the first to be repaid.

That is precisely the solution
that

Mitt Romney
NYT. Romney says
that while the “American auto industry is vital to our national
interest,” bailing out the Big Three would “virtually guarantee”
their demise. Instead, a “managed bankruptcy may be the only
path to the fundamental restructuring the industry needs.” The
government should guarantee financing for the bankrupt companies
and make sure that consumers know their warranties aren’t at
risk. When Republican Sen. Bob Corker brought up the

idea of bankruptcy with government backing, GM’s chairman
dismissed it as “pure fantasy” noting that such an action “would
ripple across this economy like a tsunami we haven’t seen. It
seems to me like a huge roll of the dice.”

Begich’s victory not only
effectively ends the career of the longest-serving Republican
senator but also brings Democrats one step closer to reaching
the 60 seats necessary to obtain a filibuster-proof

majorityy. Yesterday, Democratic lawmakers kept the dream of
reaching that magic number alive by overwhelmingly voting to
allow Sen. Joseph Lieberman to keep his committee chairmanship.
“This was done in a spirit of reconciliation,”

Lieberman said.

NYT,
LAT, and
WP all front word
that Eric Holder currently appears to be the top choice to
become the next U.S. attorney general, although

no final decision has been made. Obama’s advisers continue
the vetting process but plan to officially offer him the job if
he gets enough

support from Republican lawmakers. Holder, a senior official
at the Justice Department under President Clinton, would be the
first African American attorney general. The biggest sticking
point in his nomination is that Republicans are certain to bring
up that as deputy attorney general he failed to oppose Clinton’s
pardon of fugitive financier Marc Rich. But few think that will
prevent his confirmation.

The
WSJ fronts word
that former President Bill Clinton is prepared to make
concessions on his activities in order to help his wife get the
position of

secretary of state in Obama’s administration. Not only would
he stop being involved in his foundation’s daily activities, the
former president has also said he would be willing to disclose
the names of all new donors and seek clearance from both the
White House counsel and the State Department’s ethics chief
before accepting any money or paid speaking engagements. In
addition, he has agreed to publicly disclose “major” past
contributors, although no one has been able to define what
“major” means.

Despite all these concessions,
it’s still not clear that the former first lady

even wants the job, note the
WSJ and
NYT. Although she
was apparently enthusiastic about the prospect when Obama first
brought it up, she’s now wondering whether she wouldn’t rather
stay in the Senate. She’s apparently reluctant to give up the
independence that comes with being a senator in order to become
a subordinate to a former rival. Of course, this could all be
part of a bargaining tactic. But the
NYT also notes that
if she becomes secretary of state it would be much more
difficult for her to get rid of the

$7.6 million debt that she has left over from her
presidential campaign.

Whether she wants it or not,
there are plenty of opinions on whether she should get the job.
The NYT‘s

Thomas Friedman says that too much attention has been paid
to the former president’s role and activities, when the really
important question is what kind of relationship Clinton would
have with Obama. Having the full backing of the president “is
the most
important requirement for a secretary of state to be effective,”
notes Friedman, who admits that he’s not sure whether Obama and
Clinton can have that kind of relationship with everything that
went on between them during the primaries. For his part, the
WP‘s

David Broder is certainly more direct and says that
appointing Clinton “would be a mistake.” Although she’s
qualified, the position wouldn’t be “the best use of her
talents” and isn’t what Obama needs. Plus, carrying her
husband’s baggage would make the job that much more difficult.
“If Clinton can be of service to Obama in Foggy Bottom, she can
be of even greater value as an ally on Capitol Hill,” writes
Broder. Meanwhile, the NYT‘s

Maureen Dowd for some reason finds it relevant to ask David
Geffen what he thinks. Yes, Geffen made a bit of a splash when
he badmouthed the Clintons in the heat of the primary battle,
and no one doubts his fundraising prowess, but does anyone care
what he thinks? In case you do, Geffen likes the idea of the
former first lady running the State Department. Clinton and
Obama must be breathing a huge sigh of relief.

other magazines:
The Redprint: Newsweek‘s
Karl Rove prescribes a Republican comeback plan.

Newsweek, Nov. 24

Karl
Rove

offers a 10-point plan for the Republican Party, stressing
the importance of adapting the GOP’s core values for the new
era. “The party should embrace both tradition and reform;
grass-roots Republicans want to apply timeless conservative
principles to the new circumstances facing America.” The party
must make inroads among young people by promoting a “green”
agenda and should focus on retaking Congress in 2010.
… The cover story

likens Barack Obama to Abraham Lincoln, which the 44^th
president himself did in the

pages of Time
in 2005. Both men are known for their humility, strong rhetoric,
and taking the helm during a pivotal historical moment.
… The lame-duck Bush administration is being flooded with

pardon requests, but those hoping for one are likely to be
disappointed as Bush has granted fewer pardons than any modern
president.

Big Three Breakdown in DC

Today’s Business Press

Just
$25 billion more dollars (okay, maybe a bit more) in cheap
government loans, that’s all The Big 3 automakers need to retool
and avoid collapse, the CEOs of

Ford, General Motors and Chrysler pitched to Congress on
Tuesday. “From the response they got, it will be a tough sell,”
BusinessWeek reckons. The New
York Times concurs, writing “after four hours of
testimony, it appeared they had not persuaded enough lawmakers
to move quickly on a bailout.” The Democratic leadership, the
newspaper adds, has not succeeded in mustering enough support to
tap the $700 billion bailout fund to rescue the troubled
carmakers. It’s just as well, opines
The Wall Street Journal,
contending “the money is a tool of Congressional industrial
policy to

turn GM, Ford and Chrysler into agents of the Sierra Club
and other green lobbies.”  The
WSJ‘s suggestion? For
starters, ease “onerous” fleet mileage standards that “force the
companies to make cars domestically that are unprofitable.”
This, the newspaper concludes, would probably save Chrysler from
bankruptcy.

Meanwhile, auto bailout fever is spreading abroad. Foreign
automakers are watching the proceedings in Washington with great
interest, pressuring lawmakers back home that if Detroit gets a
bailout, they’ll need one too. This is precisely the rationale
in Beijing where

China’s car industry “is quietly pressing… for government
help as it copes with a jarring slowdown,” the
NYT writes.

European automakers are fishing for state aid too, taking
advantage of the EU’s dithering on whether such help would
constitutes a breach of competition rules, according to the
WSJ.

Meanwhile, the business prospects for the leading carmakers
worsens by the day. Ford’s marketing chief yesterday described

November auto sales as “just terrible.” And, it emerged
yesterday, the resale value of American cars — as measured by
the Kelley Blue Book people — continues to

lag behind European and Asian car models, not a good sign
for the Big 3.

If
Detroit loses its fight for bailout bucks, it won’t be alone.
Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson told the House Financial
Services Committee on Tuesday that

neither Detroit nor homeowners facing foreclosure deserve access
to the dwindling $700 billion bailout reserve. “The primary
purpose of the bill was to protect our financial system from
collapse,” Paulson lectured House Democrats urging homeowner
relief. “The rescue package was not intended to be an economic
stimulus or an economic recovery package.” The fault

lines are widening indeed between Paulson and House Democrats,
who accused the Treasury Secretary of misleading them on the
original intent of the aid and accusing him of not knowing what
to do next, The Washington Post reports. “There’s a lack of
confidence, it seems to me, both in this body and in the general
population,” Rep. Paul E. Kanjorski (D-Pa.) lashed out at
Paulson during the hearing. “Do we have a plan? Where are we
going?” Paulson seemed cool under fire though, repeatedly
stating the package is for stabilizing the financial system, not
as “a panacea for all our economic difficulties.”

“You
cannot be serious!” To paraphrase, that’s New York State
Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo’s reaction to suggestions that
A.I.G. – recent beneficiary of $150 billion in rescue loans -

might hand out executive bonuses this year. It “seems hard
to believe that A.I.G. could pay significant bonuses or give
raises to its executives after the company has quite literally
been bailed out by the American taxpayer,” Cuomo wrote to CEO
Edward M. Libby, the NYT‘s
Dealbook reports. Cuomo also pointed out that Goldman Sachs, UBS
and Barclays have all waived bonuses for this year.

Shares in

Hewlett-Packard soared 14% yesterday,
Business Week
reports, as the granddaddy of Silicon Valley beat the street and
surprised analysts by reporting an upbeat outlook for 2009.
While tech giants such as Cisco, Sun Microsystems and Intel all
languish, HP delivered a fourth quarter profit of $1.03 a share,
benefiting from what CEO Mark Hurd described as, “its global
reach, diverse customer base, broad portfolio, and numerous cost
initiatives”. Even more surprising news from Silicon Valley
comes from the WSJ,
which reports

Google and Proctor & Gamble have started swapping employees
in a an “odd couple” pact to leverage the next generation of
online advertising. P&G needs to learn more about online
consumer habits as its market moves increasing to the Net while
Google “craves a bigger slice of P&G’s $8.7 billion annual ad
pie as its own revenue growth slows.”

Headlines

Bailing Out Detroit

• ”It’s Impossible to Lose All 16 Games in an NFL
Season”–headline,

Detroit Free Press, Nov. 17
 
• ”The ‘Liberal Lion’ Is Back”–headline,

CQ.com, Nov. 17

It’s Titled ‘A Modest Proposal’

“Government Report Shows More US Children Wanted for Food in
2007 Than Any Time Since 1998″–headline, Associated Press,
Nov. 17

‘I Should’ve Had the Moo Shu Pork!’
“Man Who Had Ricin in Las Vegas Motel Gets 3½ Years in Federal
Prison, $7,500 Fine”–headline, Associated Press, Nov. 17

That Would Be a Strange Place to Have a Contest Anyway
“Wis. Woman Pleads No Contest in Toilet Corpse Case”–headline,
Associated Press, Nov. 17

‘Where’s the Rest of Me?’

“Half Way Man Injured on Mo. 32″–headline, Bolivar (Mo.)
Herald-Free Press, Nov. 17

Turns Out They’re Lighter Than Water
“State Officials Solve Mystery of Floating Beets”–headline,
Associated Press, Nov. 17

Breaking News From Stardate 4202.9

“ ’Doomsday Machine’ Repairs to Cost $21 Million”–headline,
FoxNews.com, Nov. 17

News You Can Use

• ”Slick Roads Lead to Numerous Accidents”–headline,

Rochester (N.Y.) Democrat and Chronicle, Nov. 18
 
• ”SF: Pit in Sidewalk Makes Walking Risky”–headline,

San Francisco Chronicle, Nov. 18
 
• ”Bizarre: Bake Your Own ‘Fetus Cookies’ ”–headline,

WorldNetDaily.com, Nov. 17

Bottom Stories of the Day

New
Republic,
Dec. 3

With
the selection of Rahm Emanuel as Obama’s chief of staff, Noam
Scheiber

wonders whether Obama is truly committed to his mantra of
“No drama.” Scheiber also ponders what Washington, where
“rumor-mongering and backbiting are semi-official sports,” will
do to the morale of Obama’s faithful campaign workers, when
forced to mix with “every ambitious law-school grad along the
Amtrak corridor.” …
An

article on Detroit’s ailing auto industry imagines what
would happen if the big three—GM, Ford, and Chrysler—were
allowed to fail. At least 3 million people would immediately
lose their jobs, but from there the crisis would “reach into
every community with a parts supplier or factory—and, to a
lesser extent, into every town and city with a dealership. In
short, virtually every community in the country would be
touched.”

New York, Nov. 24

As
the infamous Bellevue Psychiatric Hospital—”the nuthouse, the
punch line, the must-avoid vacation spot”—enters redevelopment
as a hotel and conference center, a story

reminisces about the prominent place the “Chelsea Hotel of
the mad” has enjoyed in popular culture over the last 78 years.
Norman Mailer was sent there in 1960 after he stabbed his wife
with a penknife. Mark David Chapman, who shot John Lennon, paid
a visit in 1980. …
The gulf emirate of Dubai has

emerged as a sandy safe haven for those fleeing the
financial meltdown in the United States. The expatriate
community seems to consist largely of blond Texans like
24-year-old Brooke Butler, who found a sales job there a month
after starting her search. However, Butler and her peers do not
seem to be digging in for the long term. “People don’t stay in
Dubai for long. Everyone is passing through. But for now they
are here, waiting out the storm.”

The
Daily Slog

Late Night Humor

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

President-elect Barack
Obama is still looking for a White House dog. In fact, he has
spent more time selecting a dog than John McCain did selecting a
running mate.

President Bush had
some good dog advice for the president-elect. Bush advised him
to get a dog that is easy to train. Bush told him it took him
almost eight years to get Barney to bite that reporter.

According to CNN,
Barack Obama’s popularity going into office is higher than
Clinton’s, Reagan’s, or either of the President Bushes when they
entered office. On Fox News, he’s somewhere between Attila the
Hun and lead poisoning.

President Bush briefed
President-elect Obama on the state of the nation this week. I
don’t want to say things look bad, but Obama’s new slogan is
“Maybe We Can.”

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs You’re Watching A Bad Spy Film

10. Keeps leaking
classified information on his Facebook page
9. He has a license to fish
8. It’s set in the dark, dangerous world of photocopier repair
7. Hero’s new high-tech gadget: a shampoo that’s also a
conditioner
6. Sexy new Bond girl has five kids and a loving husband named
Todd
5. Villain’s plot to destroy the world’s financial system is
spoiled when the bank beats him to it
4. Main character announces, “The name’s Bond — Shecky Bond”
3. It’s about a plot to steal the Colonel’s fried chicken recipe
2. “Jet pack” looks suspiciously like Hello Kitty backpack
1. He promises to find Osama, yet seven years later, nothing

Late Show with David Letterman

On this date in 1972,
the Dow Jones hit 1,000 for the first time. Unfortunately, the
same thing happened today.

And on this date in
2000, Bill Clinton was the first president to visit Vietnam. At
least that’s where he told Hillary he was going.

Barack Obama’s family
is out looking for a dog for the White House. I hear Beverly
Hills Chihuahua is on his short list.

He’s looking for a pet
that does not shed . . . that rules out that thing on Donald
Trump’s head.

Late Night with Conan O’Brien

The Republican Party
is considering naming the first African-American chairman in
their party’s history. Unfortunately, Republicans are having a
hard time finding an African-American who is white.

When Barack Obama’s
daughters Malia and Sasha move into the White House, they are
going to have to get used to having a chef cook their meals. The
White House chef is furious about it and said, “Great — four
more years of making SpaghettiOs and chicken fingers.”

Yesterday in Georgia,
John McCain was campaigning for a Republican congressman who is
facing a runoff election. You can tell McCain is a little bitter
about his defeat because instead of saying “my friends,” he now
says “my ungrateful bastards.”

People in the
publishing industry are speculating that President Bush will
write a book after he leaves office. And by “write,” they mean
“draw.”

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

They say that Barack
Obama’s transition is going to cost $12 million. It sounds like
a lot, but it’s less than Sarah Palin would have spent on the
inaugural gown, the tiara, the cape, the scepter . . . golden
trousers for her husband . . .

It’s rumored that
they’re going to make a Monopoly movie. It’s official —
Hollywood’s out of ideas.

With the way the real
estate market is, it could actually be quite scary.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

California
is burning again. We have a tradition here. Once every six or
eight days we set the place on fire.

While the fires were
smoldering, much of the state was participating in an earthquake
drill. They pretended there was a 7.8 earthquake. They say it
was the biggest pretend earthquake ever to hit the United
States.

Five million people
participated — only six people died.

Barack Obama is hard
at work selecting a Cabinet. The big rumor is he may select
Hillary Clinton as secretary of state. Finally — a secretary
Bill doesn’t want to sleep with.

Today’s Papers

First Same-Sex Marriage, Now This

“John Dingell ‘Married to General Motors’ ”–headline, Detroit
Free Press, Nov. 15

Plus Ça Change

• ”Ms. Lewinsky, the former intern at the
center of the investigation into sex and lies at the White
House, had said in her debriefings with prosecutors in recent
weeks that she had given Mr. Clinton the Zegna tie on his 50th
birthday, in August 1996. According to what Ms. Lewinsky told a
close friend, Ms. Lewinsky told the President that because they
would not be able to see each other every day, ‘when I see you
wearing this tie I’ll know that I am close to your heart.’ On
the day of her testimony, Mr. Clinton was inveighing against
handguns in a televised ceremony. Prosecutors apparently
wondered, Was the tie a sign, a plea for solidarity?”–New York
Times,

Aug. 19, 1998
 
• ”Transition Aides Look at Bill Clinton’s Ties”–headline, New
York Times (Paris edition)

Nov. 17, 2008

Bill Ayers Finally Speaks Out

“Hunters Urged to Shoot Pigs”–headline, Jackson (Mich.) Citizen
Patriot, Nov. 15

Why Wasn’t He in the Courtroom to Begin With?
“Judge Halts Work on Everglades Bridge”–headline, Associated
Press, Nov. 14

Now She Outranks Adam

“1st Woman Named 4-Star General”–headline, Arizona Republic,
Nov. 15

Those Election Spurs Are Fast!

“Obama Election Spurs Race Crimes Around Country”–headline,
Associated Press, Nov. 16

Stay Away From State Control Creeps
“State Control Creeps Closer to County”–headline, Paris (Texas)
News, Nov. 17

News of the Tautological

“Lightning Strike at Church Called ‘an Act of God’ ”–headline,
Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle, Nov. 15

News You Can Use

• ”Plagued by Fungus? Bacteria? Try Copper
Socks”–headline,

Reuters, Nov. 15
 
• ”Clicking Knees Are Antelopes’ Way of Saying ‘Back
Off’ ”–headline,

BMC Biology press release, Nov. 15
 
• ”Death Is Natural, Constant, Inevitable–So Live With
It”–headline,

Arizona Republic, Nov. 17
 
• ”We’re Divorced–You’re Not My Friend”–headline,

CNN.com, Nov. 14
 

Bottom Stories of the Day

• ”Nothing Changes at Top of BCS
Standings”–headline,

MSNBC.com, Nov. 16
 
• ”Texans in Washington Could See Influence Wane”–headline,

Dallas Morning News, Nov. 16
 
• ”Jesse Jackson Concerned About Bush’s Last Days”–headline,

Associated Press, Nov. 16
 
• ”Fat Cats, Friends 1st in Line for Barack Obama Inauguration
Tickets”–headline,

Chicago Sun-Times, Nov. 16
 

Headlines

The
Ethicist

Am I My Bookkeeper’s Keeper?

By

RANDY COHEN

I am
a minister in a small Baptist congregation. The church alerted
me that because of a bookkeeping error, I’ve been receiving
several hundred dollars more than I should in each paycheck. I
probably should have caught the mistake, but I was never good at
numbers. That’s why I went into theology. They want me to refund
this money. Must I pay for someone else’s mistake? NAME
WITHHELD, TEXAS

You’re not being asked to pay for “someone else’s mistake” but
to return something that doesn’t belong to you, money paid in
error. If you found someone’s wallet, wouldn’t you give it back,
even if someone made a mistake by losing it? But while you are
obliged to refund this money, your employer should not demand
immediate and inconvenient repayment of the total sum. The error
accumulated over months; its correction, too, can be gradual.

But
surely a minister must be good with numbers. Ten commandments,
12 disciples, 40 days and 40 nights of rain, the Trinity —
muddle those numbers, and you’re heading for heresy.

UPDATE: For reasons unrelated to this dispute, the minister left
the job to work for a nonprofit in another state. The church
offset some of his debt against unused vacation time and
uninvested retirement withholdings. He wrote a check for the
remainder, $520.

I
own a busy cafe-delicatessen with 25 employees. All the workers
except two enjoy listening to background music from the radio
while they work, as do I; those two say it irritates them, gives
them headaches and makes it hard to talk to the customers. I
turned off the music, but most of my workers say I’m unfair.
Should I heed the majority or respect the wishes of those two
employees? H.D., NEW YORK

Headaches? Are the antimusic duo misrepresenting their distress
as a chronic medical condition, like those cabdrivers who were
“allergic” to cigarettes? I admire both your concern for working
conditions and your nod to workplace democracy. And while the
minority should be protected from the tyranny of the majority —
or else we would all be assailed by the Top 40 — here you have a
supermajority, 24 out of 26, more than what’s needed to break a
filibuster or override a presidential veto, a near-consensus
worth heeding. Are there situations when majorities are too
slight to set some policies? Yes. Is this one? No.

One
way to proceed gently: introduce music so quiet that it’s barely
audible, then gradually increase the volume each day, leveling
off when the two holdouts object. Who knows: they might get used
to it or even come to like it.

UPDATE: Soft music now plays on weekends and holidays when the
two audiophobes are off. Employer, employees and customers enjoy
it.

Can
someone paid by my community college to tutor students in my
chemistry classes also be a grader for me? The tutor feels this
may be a conflict of interest. But don’t I, the teacher, have
the same conflict when I teach the class and grade students’
papers? MIKE DANIEL, BAKERSFIELD, CALIF.

The
tutor is overly fastidious. Because he is paid by the college,
his financial relationship to the students is like that of any
other teacher, as you note. His grading papers would be
problematic if, as is sometimes the case for tutors, he were
paid directly by individual students (or encouraged them to tip
heavily). Such payments could be seen as a sort of bribe to
ensure a higher grade. In those circumstances, he would have to
recuse himself from grading his students’ papers.

The Daily Slog

Late Night Humor Thurs

 The Tonight
Show with Jay Leno

There was a big
meeting this week between Vice President-elect Joe Biden and Vice President
Dick Cheney. Or as they are calling it, “plugged hair meets plugged
arteries.”

I prefer to call
them “foot-in-mouth meets shot-in-face.”

Speaker of the House
Nancy Pelosi has called for emergency assistance for the auto industry. She
said it was an absolute emergency. But since it was Nancy Pelosi, no one
could tell from her facial expression that it was an emergency.

The National
Enquirer says that after campaign staffers blamed her for losing the
election, Sarah Palin went on a rampage . . . yelling and screaming and
throwing things. But see, that’s the National Enquirer. Are you going to
believe them? These are the same people who said a year ago that John
Edwards was having an affair.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten
Highlights Of The Dick Cheney/Joe Biden Meeting

10. Cheney barred
the door and yelled, “You’ll never take me alive”
9. It was three hours of Guitar Hero
8. Biden gave Cheney the number for his hair-plug guy
7. Enjoyed a nice lunch interrupted by two shotgun blasts and a heart
attack
6. Lynne Cheney blinking out in Morse code “Help me. Help me. Help
me.”
5. Cheney had to leave early to get Bush’s head unstuck from a microwave
oven
4. Had a heart attack during a heart attack
3. They agreed the “Late Show Fun Facts” book may just be the
thing to bring this country together
2. For about 20 minutes, Cheney’s pacemaker got HBO
1. Upon seeing Biden, Cheney muttered, “I was hoping for the Alaskan
broad”

Late Show with
David Letterman

Sarah Palin might
make a guest appearance on “Desperate Housewives.” When John
McCain heard this, he said, “I’d like to be on ‘Bonanza.’”

Sarah Palin says she
wants to be bipartisan; she would like to help Barack Obama. And I thought,
Hasn’t she helped him already?

Obama is organizing
his Cabinet. This is a high-pressure time for him. Meanwhile, John McCain
is at an Applebee’s blowing on his soup.

Barack Obama has
named Rahm Emanuel as his chief of staff and he is bringing in Madeleine
Albright to be part of his transition team. It looks like Obama is bringing
back all of our favorites from the Clinton administration. Except for that
heavy-set intern.

Late Night with
Conan O’Brien

Earlier today,
President Bush was in New York and he gave a speech about the financial
crisis and other problems facing the country. The speech was called
“So Long Suckers.”

In Washington, D.C.
today, Dick Cheney gave Joe Biden a tour of the vice president’s living
quarters. Afterwards, Biden said he loves the house, but he’ll probably
turn the dungeon back into a rec room.

The Republican Party
is considering choosing an African-American Republican to be their party’s
chairman. Unfortunately, neither guy wants the job.

American Express is
in financial trouble and reportedly wants a $5.5 billion loan from the
government. Unfortunately for American Express, the government only takes
Visa and Diner’s Club.

The Late Late
Show with Craig Ferguson

People in L.A. have
been participating in an earthquake drill. Authorities are saying the drill
has been a huge success apparently people in L.A. are used to things being
fake.

Barbara Walters is
doing a special on the man who got pregnant. If you get a sex-change
operation then find yourself pregnant, you may want to ask yourself how
good the doctor was.

All I’m saying is,
if you get a sex-change operation, hang onto the receipt.

Sarah Palin
did another interview. This time on the “Today” show. She’s been
on NBC, Fox News, local news, magazines . . . she’s talking so much they
can hear her from Russia.

The economy
is terrible. The Sharper Image went bankrupt. Who would have thought that a
place that sells useless garbage would go bankrupt!

Linens ‘n
Things went bankrupt, too. I think I saw that coming, though, because they
didn’t care . . . besides linens, they didn’t care what they sold. Linens .
. . and things.

Today’s Papers

Money
Makes the World Go ‘Round

The New York Times and the Washington Post both lead with stories about this weekend’s meeting of the Group of 20
in Washington to discuss the global financial crisis, while the Los
Angeles Times stuffs the news. World leaders from 20 countries drew up plans to begin the process of regulating
financial activity conducted across national borders, but they postponed
many of the more difficult decisions until their next meeting, scheduled
for April 2009. The LAT
leads with the latest on the wildfires sweeping across
Southern California. Over 30,000 people have fled and hundreds of homes
have been burned.

At the
economic summit in Washington, members of the Group of 20, plus Spain, the
Netherlands, the United Nations, and other international organizations,
gave a greater role in the planning process to developing nations such as
China, India, and Brazil. Europeans walked away happy, according to
gloating French President Nicolas Sarkozy, and President George W. Bush
adopted a far less stringent defense of free markets than he held when he
announced the summit in October. Some of the measures to which
the group agreed include the establishment of a “college of
supervisors” to oversee the activity of financial institutions that
operate internationally, closer scrutiny of hedge funds, and more frequent
and diligent reviews of countries’ financial systems by the International
Monetary Fund.

The NYT
downplays the summit’s conclusions with a quote from an
MIT economist who claims that these were “plain-vanilla” measures
that could have been accomplished without a summit, and the only
significance of the event was that it was attended by the developing
nations included in the G-20 instead of just the larger powers of the Group
of 8 nations. President-elect Barack Obama, who both papers agree will face
more difficult decisions at the spring summit, was not present this weekend
but did send two senior advisers in his place. The LAT goes inside
with a story on Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, who took
the opportunity at the summit to say that he hopes for improved relations
between his country and the U.S. under the Obama administration.

In
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenneger proclaimed a state of emergency
yesterday in Los Angeles and Orange Counties, adding to his earlier
proclamation for Santa Barbara County. Fires yesterday tore through a
mobile home park in Sylmar, where 500 homes were destroyed, in a blaze that
a local fire chief described as the worst he’d seen in the city in three
decades on the job. Flames struck downtown L.A., as well, where the
temperature reached a record hot and dry 93 degrees. Several highways in
the area have been shut down, throwing a wrench in the evacuation plans of
many.

Calls for
reform abound in another front-page story in the LAT that laments the
present failure of 401(k) plans to guarantee financial security for
Americans’ retirement years. Committee meetings in the House of
Representatives and other research groups have entertained suggestions from
experts that include returning to a system that guarantees a pensioner’s
benefits instead of just the employer’s contribution, as well as a proposal
to offer government-backed retirement savings accounts that would yield a
fixed return, provided for by the elimination of tax breaks that
participants in 401(k) plans currently receive. To date this year, the
average employee’s 401(k) balance has dropped by 21 to 27 percent.

A
front-page NYT story kicks off a series examining the role natural
resources play in inciting conflict in Africa. Over an expanse of column
inches not often granted to such topics, the article considers the value of
the tin ore that the Congolese unearth through the exploitation of the
poor. Inside the A section, the LAT includes news that the U.N. has sent in an official to
facilitate talks between Congo’s president and the rebel leader responsible
for clashes with soldiers in the eastern part of the country.

On a more
trivial note, the NYT also fronts a story that wonders if Obama will be the first e-mailing
President. While the President-elect hopes to be the first to have a laptop
in the Oval Office, he may have to surrender his Blackberry and give up
e-mail, as President Bush did, because of security risks and laws that
allow presidential correspondence to become public information.

The WP reports that Iraq’s prime minister and its top Shiite
cleric will support an agreement to keep U.S. forces in Iraq through 2011,
when the measure goes before the Iraqi parliament. The article predicts
that this will greatly aid in the agreement’s passing. The NYT,
however, takes a less sanguine view of the pact’s chances for success, pointing out that the most prominent Shiite bloc did
not attend yesterday’s meeting with top Iraqi politicians, held to gauge
support for the plan.

The WP goes
inside with a feature that draws parallels between the Great
Depression and today’s economic climate. Maryland residents who grew up in
the 1930s share their tales of scrimping, saving, and going without
luxuries. The interviewees wag their fingers at grandchildren who are too
quick to pull out the credit card, but also remind the younger generations
that even the Great Depression came to an end.

Also in
the WP, Chris Cillizza breaks down five post-election myths. Mostly, Cillizza takes a
contrarian’s perspective, claiming this election did not signal the death
knell for the Republican party and choosing Sarah Palin was not necessarily
a mistake. However, he also points to pre-election predictions that fell
flat (namely, black voters and the young were not the crucial factor in
Obama’s victory).

In the WP
Magazine, though, faux-news takes top prize in a feature on The
Onion. The piece goes inside the production of the satirical
weekly newspaper, where stories are invented to fit the headlines.

A story in the NYT Style Section buzzes about
possible schools the Obama daughters might attend in Washington, a topic
about which D.C. parents have been speculating since November 5, as Hanna Rosin noted on “XX Factor.” Will they
choose a place like Sidwell Friends, the elite private school attended by
Chelsea Clinton? Or could the Obamas shock the region’s parents by
enrolling their daughters in public school, as former President Jimmy
Carter did with his daughter? Washington’s “power parents” are
holding their breath in anticipation.

Change.gov:
The Economist and Time on Obama’s transition.

The Economist,
Nov. 15
The cover story downplays the significance of the upcoming
G-20 summit: “[G]lobal finance will not be remade in a five-hour
powwow hosted by a lame-duck president after less preparation than many
corporate board meetings.” International finance is a “tug-of-war”
between global markets and national sovereigntyit cannot simply be
“fixed.” The leaders have a chance to make progress, “but
only if they temper their hyperbole with realism and humility.” An article calls Obama’s transition “the most
difficult in living memory” and urges him to “translate his vague
philosophy of ‘hope’ and ‘change’ into governance.” Obama’s transition
team is guided by Reagan’s, which “hit the ground running” and
worked closely with a policy think tank. President Bush is also trying to
ensure that the transition moves fluidly, requiring even low-level staff to
draw up detailed briefings and giving Obama unusual access to various
departments.

Time, Nov. 24
The cover story surveys Obama’s transition, reporting that
it already occupies 120,000 square feet of office space in Washington. The
president-elect has announced staff picks relatively early and plans to
choose his Cabinet by the end of the month. Obama is doing his best to
avoid a repeat of Bill Clinton’s “chaotic” 1992 transition that
left him ill-prepared for his first term. A column scolds journalists who have heralded Obama as
“a messiah who can give black people some manners, a God-child
descending from the heavens to teacheth benighted African Americans the
virtues of books and proper English and the evils of Pacman Jones and
blaming the white man.” Obama is a president, not a moral reformer,
and statistics show that blacks are already helping themselves: Oprah and Bill
Cosby are among their most respected figures, and 60 percent of young
African-Americans find rap music’s depiction of women offensive.